woodcut radarscope: Motherhood?.my JOY, not my JOB

I tried not to. I didn?t really want to.

But, when God keeps urging you, then keeps you up at night while filling your mind with the words He wants use to use?.well, you just can?t say no.

A little while ago, I came across yet another blog post from a Mama that speaks of how ?difficult? and ?energy-sapping? Motherhood is. It then goes on to elaborate her difficult days ad nauseam. This isn?t the first post I?ve read like this, and sadly, probably won?t be the last.

Some find this blog post funny, insightful, honest, and refreshing.

I personally find it sad. It really makes me want to cry.

Our sweet Rebecca perfecting the bottom lip stuck out?maneuver.

Sad that anyone thinks of Motherhood in these terms. Sad that Mamas out there aren?t truly seizing the day and truly enjoying each day they are granted to be with their sweet babes. Sad that SO many comments in support of such a life are written. Sad that this is thought of as the way things are and should be. Sad that SO many are seemingly missing out on the wonderfulness and awe that is Motherhood.

I dreamed of being a Mama my whole childhood. Being a Mama and wife to the man God chose for me were my life?s ambitions, my ?career? goals if you will. In high school, when they?d host Career Day, I?d hang out in the office with the ladies there. There was no career that interested me. While I had the grades needed to go to college, I simply could not justify the cost nor the time involved. I ?only? desired to become a wife and Mama.

Now, maybe it?s because my Mom was home with us and truly raised us, not just allowed us to grow up. Or maybe it?s because I just don?t ?dream big?. Or maybe it?s because I?m a child of the 70?s and life was still a slower pace with Moms at home for their children. Or maybe it?s because I was raised on a dairy farm, where hard work and togetherness were a necessity of daily life.

Whatever the reason, those were my goals.

I went on my first date when I was 19. I married that first date a year and a half later.

This photo was taken about 6 months after our first date. ?Yes, it was the time for big hair and big glasses?

We?re still married and madly in love 21 years later. We?ve been blessed to be the parents of 5 children, four of whom we get to raise and one called to Jesus while still in my womb at 11 weeks old.

Yes, blessed. Abundantly so (hence the title of my blog!).

Has it always been an easy process? Nope. But, I wouldn?t trade raising my children for ANYTHING the world has to offer. They are my light, my joy, and my love. Being their Mama is the greatest honor I know.

I do remember the days of newborns, of toddlers, of 4 year olds, of potty training, of endless laundry, of endless diaper changes, of near exhaustion after a day of activities. It is work to both bring those sweet faces into the world and to mold them into responsible, mature human beings.

?Natalie after a LONG day of playing!

I have sometimes been accused of painting an inaccurate picture of motherhood. That I somehow look through rose-colored glasses when I speak of it. Nothing could be further from the truth.

My suggestions?
You aren?t getting enough sleep because your little one won?t sleep? Take him to bed with you (I personally feel that?s where he belongs when little anyhow). All of you will get more restful sleep. There, no more sleepless nights. No more zombie Mama the next day. What? You don?t want to share your bed with your babe? Why? They need you. How can you deny them their needs just because it?s at night? What? You don?t want a 6 year old sleeping with you still? We had all four of babes sleep with us. They are now aged 9-18 and none of them slept with us past the age of 2-1/2. In the grand scheme of things, 2-1/2 years out of 9 is not that much, 2-1/2 years out of 18 is even less. And, obviously, we were able to enjoy ?couple time? as we do have more than one child.

Rebecca right where she belonged when sleeping?next to her Mama?

You aren?t getting enough ?me? time? What exactly IS ?me? time?? For most who complain about a lack thereof, it?s time away from their children. Why exactly did you crave and desire to have children? Why do you want to be away from them? The time is fleeting. You may not realize it now with an infant, a toddler, or even a child just starting school. But it is slipping away far faster than you can imagine. This is the time to put aside some of those desires and just relish your incredibly important role as a Mama.

Sleeping angel Mary?.seems so long ago that this photo was taken.

You get tired of chasing 2 year olds, going to the grocery store and keeping track of everyone, or the noise? Let?s just say, some discipline and being consistent would alleviate most of those issues. (And before you say it, I realize there are children with medical issues that cannot control themselves with those methods?.I understand that and I?m not speaking to that. I?m speaking to normally developed children who simply lack consistent discipline). My children were never allowed out of my sight while out and about. They didn?t go to the next aisle over or anywhere else without me. My saying always was (and is), ?If I can?t see you, I don?t know that you are safe.? I did take the time, when we weren?t rushed, to visit the toy department, the pet department, or whatever department interested them at the time. I gave their needs and desires importance, just as I wanted them to give my needs of grocery shopping importance.

Thomas slip-sliding away at Aunt Penny?s.

I don?t mean this to be a condemnation on any Mama. Lord knows a stay at home Mama gets enough of that from the media and other sources. Our role is crucial to the well-being of our children, our next generation, our future. The time we invest today in our children will directly affect their future. They need us to mother them. They need us to teach them. They need us to show them that they are indeed important and loved.

Mary holding a butterfly.

All it takes is a quick look around to see those who do not have this at home. Our home should be a safe haven for all those in it. Peace should reign supreme over our home. Our children should know that their parents love and adore them?and that means issuing discipline in love when necessary. Our children should be taught at home so that trips away from home, whether to the store, the library, or visiting friends & family, are fun, productive, and enjoyable for all. We never wanted to be ?that family? where folks would cringe at the thought of spending time with our family. We always went everywhere (and still do when we?re all home) as a ?pack?. If you saw one of us, you most likely saw all six of us.

Our family trip to the Parthenon in Nashville in 2010.

We did not and still do not allow bickering and fighting amongst our children. We told them each from the beginning that their siblings are their life-long friends and that they need each other till the end. This is not to say that it didn?t happen ever. It is to say that it was dealt with swiftly when it did. There?s no name-calling, belittling, or other such terrible things allowed. We are here to build each other up and love each other, not tear down. There?s enough tearing down that happens ?in the world?, it shouldn?t be happening in our homes, their safe haven.

Natalie?s 2nd birthday and Thomas? 6th birthday party. Yes, they do still treat each other as their best friends?.as they do their other two sisters.?

And, as a side note, there are TONS of women out there whose greatest dream is to be called Mama, yet for whatever reason, that dream has not been realized. Their hearts genuinely ache to hold a babe of their very own. I can only imagine how hard it is for them to hear Mamas complain about their ?job?.

So, yes, DO seize the day. Seize the moment. Seize the time you have been granted to be a Mama to your babes. They will not live with you forever. And you truly will look back one day and see that it was both worth it and not quite as bad as you imagined it to be. And, you might just be one of ?those? Mamas telling young Mamas to truly enjoy even ?those? moments. It?s over too quick, I tell ya.